Social Conditioning is the term probably hated by a lot of people who advocate equality.
And here are the reasons why. By the way, this is again a feminist
a topic so incase this can trigger you negatively, might as well stop reading any further.
So Social Conditioning is a process where an individual is trained to grow up with a certain set of beliefs, behaviours, desires and emotional reactions, which are approved by the society in general or by certain groups within it.
So for future reference, if being a guy you have ever heard that “Mard ko Dard Nahi Hota and ladke kabhi nahi rote” (men don’t get hurt and boys don’t cry).
This an example of social conditioning that doesn’t let men vent out their
emotions. Sounds familiar right?
Exactly like when they commit a mistake they are let go of by saying “boys will be boys or men will be men”
For girls, the list goes on to how you should behave, where you should go,
whom should you befriend, what your weight and height should be, and how should you only think about getting married since the age of 21, how you should learn to look after the males in the family. So much so when she tries to defy any of the above conditions she would be asked the question “log kya kahenge? (What will people say about the matter?)”
So what are the effects of social conditioning on both the genders?
For girls – they become shy, has issues with self-image, they think they are not good enough without the man and should accept whatever she is being offered without questioning anyone and that sometimes includes marital rape(because men will be men).. right?
And what happens with the men?
Over the years we have come across some really toxic relationships (In reality television, celebrity fights), some really gruesome domestic violence and mental abuse issues.
Men fail to realize that they became this abusive towards their own women. The first time he hit his sister when he was a 5-year-old kid, he was said not to apologize as he is going to be the man of the family and when he got hit, he was probably said how can he be okay with being hit by his sister?
Do you see the social conditioning here?
Which doesn’t let a 5-year-old kid feel guilty for what he has done wrong and when the tables have turned he is encouraged to probably hit his sister. (The example is very real and has been seen in some very orthodox families).
Also from a very young age, they are expected to behave in a certain way to
be the breadwinner of the family. At times they end up giving their dreams,
aspirations even kindness because they are expected to step up for the family.
So where does this go? Social conditioning doesn’t let women think about their own; making them dependent on the male member of the family and makes men abusive without even their knowledge (Media plays a big role in
whitewashing their thoughts).
The next question is why is social conditioning used?
It’s so subtle that we wouldn’t even understand the greatest impact of it. For e.g, being an engineer is better than being an artist or an actor, or men shouldn’t help around in the house, or women are less hardworking than men (hence the wage gap and fewer opportunities).
It’s is just a way of controlling people from following their dreams, also a way of inducing “herd behaviour” within the members of society.
Next time when someone tells you that you are not supposed to do something, please ask them the reason. They surely wouldn’t have this answer.
It’s the social conditioning that is letting him/her believe that.
Ohh by the way, it is the social conditioning that doesn’t let us be kind towards the third gender and treat them equally, also doesn’t let us accept the different sexual orientations either.
“Happy people are a threat to the society which just profits from the fear whether it’s the religion or the politics”
Why is Feminism needed in India?
Oh, not this again!! A lot of people will think that this is another extreme
feminist person (as if feminist people are not already considered to be
extremists, but let’s just say this is an extreme extremist post and please you
are invited to read it and let us know if the scenario is any different than this!)
Coming back to feminism, it’s a movement wherein women advocates
equality in all the sectors, opportunities and including asking for rights over their own body.
First women grow up thinking that their bodies define the respect of the families, so all the male members of the family guard a girl child more than the money, after getting married or being in a relationship they are taught that their bodies belong to the man they are married too, and then the kids and family take the front seat.
A good feeling that women are so guarded and are so safe in India (yeah right!) Let’s not even get started on rape culture and physical abuse women go through.
So this is the year 2020 quiet a lot of women have started realizing that they
have grown up and grown out of the societal norms while the men around
they just refuse to do so.
For Example, The close relatives that I was drinking with started talking about how their partners have gone through abortions.
One married male friend said it was a mutual decision and they couldn’t have had 2nd kid within a few months after having the 1st one.
The second friend then said he has been with 2 women who had gone through this procedure while dating him. I was shocked and asked if any of them have ever heard about condoms?
Imagine my plight, 4 men started giving me reasons as to why they won’t use it? Same reason, they can’t perform with the condom on, the lubricant used in the condom is harmful to men and it’s very itchy for them etc.
I didn’t say much then because why to even waste time explaining things to them if their partners themselves didn’t question them. After pondering over this question, I started looking up for the reasons and they were shocking.
In India, 95% of men chose not to use a condom, despite understanding the
use and need of it. (https://www.indiatoday.in/…/indian-men-have-aproblem-they-…)
So why didn’t women ask them to? The women don’t have sexual autonomy
here. 46% of women who had an unplanned pregnancy said that it was their husband’s decision while the other 33% faced the verbal violence for asking for the same, rest were the victims of marital rape, physical abuse and rapes.
Now to men who always say that their performance is getting hampered. Let’s see what happens if they don’t use condoms. There is a chance of women getting pregnant.
If they don’t want to they have to go through a few alternatives the cons are listed below with the alternatives: Let’s not include anything about STDs:
- Unplanned pregnancy– resulting in abortion. Abortions reported in India in 2016-17 was 9,70,436 (wow!), Done either by a pill or by surgery.
Either way, the women’s body is put in danger. 10 women die every day in India due to unsafe abortion procedures. Post which they face “Post-abortion Depression”(ohh yes this is real) along with that they also go through the self-hatred phase of not being able to keep the child (yes it does happen). There is a whole religious stigma attached to abortion as well.
- Contraceptive pills – these results in major hormonal issues, mood
swings, nausea, changes in their weight. In extreme cases it can also
result in heart attack, breast cancer and other major side effects along
with that is depression (resulting in self-harm)
The women go through all these things so that men can ejaculate in peace
which lasts for less than 6 minutes.
The average man lasts for about 6 minutes whereas women go through all the above problems because they are taught to do as the men say and have no authority over their own bodies.
Also, the man chose 6 minutes of pleasure over the woman’s life that alone speaks a lot about the status of women in India.